March 2020 Episode of Solidarity Is This

Deepa Iyer:

Hello, everyone and welcome to Solidarity Is This. I'm your host, Deepa Iyer. I'm sending all of you calming energy, peace and strength because as I tape this in late March, we are in the throes of the coronavirus pandemic here in the United States and in many parts around the world. To be honest, I have been feeling very disoriented, feeling adrift and confused and overwhelmed. And perhaps many of you have been experiencing these emotions, as well.

As I've been consuming news and information, I've also been turning to the words of people who are making meaning out of this moment. One of those people that I turned to is Kevin Kahakula’akea John Fong. I have the privilege of interviewing Kevin for this episode of Solidarity Is This. In the wake of the coronavirus epidemic, Kevin actually wrote a very moving piece that resonated with me that we'll be discussing during the episode. You can find it in the Solidarity syllabus that accompanies the podcast.

But first, let me tell you a little bit more about Kevin. He's a cultural translator and community healing practitioner. He was the former director of the clinical HIV program and teen clinic at Asian Health Services in Oakland, California, which he also founded. And more recently, he's been called to facilitate community healing circles and dialogues around the country. Working with activists, social justice leaders and organizations in places like St. Louis and Ferguson, Flint, New Orleans and Baltimore, and in rural communities in Mississippi, New Mexico and Colorado. Kevin has served on the leadership council of Within Our Lifetime, which is a national movement to end racism and he resides in San Francisco with his husband and their two sons.

Kevin, welcome to Solidarity Is This.

Kevin Fong:

Thank you, Deepa. It's a pleasure to be here.

Deepa Iyer:

I'm the really excited that you're here. This is such an important conversation, and I have been wanting to have it for many days. I wanted to start off by just acknowledging the moment that we're both in, that I think most of the country is in right now with the six feet rule of physical distancing in California, there is a lockdown, they say. There are businesses that have closed, people out of work, people working from home. I just want to take a moment to just ask you what phrase or emotion are you sitting with?

Kevin Fong:

I've been reflecting a lot on one of my many mentors, Grace Lee Boggs, who passed in 2015 at the age of 100. Every time I saw Grace, she would ask me this question, "Kevin, what time is it on the clock of the world and what are you doing to make a difference for good?" I just keep reflecting on how our mother, the earth, has just been giving us these warning signs about where we're going and what we're doing. Not only just doing harm to her, but doing harm to ourselves. In so many ways, I find that this current pandemic, this time that we find ourselves in has been a full stop for so many of us to really, as Grace would say, "It's time to reimagine everything." How do we do work? How do we do school? How do we do criminal justice? How do we do love? How do we do community? How do we reimagine family and play and health?

Kevin Fong:

It's the curse and the threat of this pandemic that can really impact our lives, the health of especially our elders, and at the same time, it causes us to stop, take a breath and say, "What can we reimagine given that we have now time and space out of our busyness to take that moment?" That's what I'm doing right now.

Deepa Iyer:

I said in the introduction that you are someone that I have been turning to, the gift of a piece you wrote, to find some meaning in this moment. And at the same time, want to acknowledge that there's so many people who can't pause because they're either out of work or they're caring for loved ones, or they're afraid if they're undocumented to seek any care. Then there are so many of us who are privileged in many ways, who can make some meaning out of this moment. You sent this message to your community this week that really, as I said, resonated with me. In it you wrote about another pandemic that you lived through; the HIV aids crisis, which happened in the early 1980s when you were just 19 years old. I'm wondering if you could share with us why the coronavirus epidemic reminded you of those years?

Kevin Fong:

Sure. I was in my 20s throughout the height of the epidemic and currently my two sons, Rafael and Santiago, Raf is 25, Santi's 21. I had spent the better part of 15 years in my 20s taking care of loved ones. I had stopped counting at 175. Once I lost 175 friends, that was it, and I was 29 years old. At a time when all of my other friends were getting married, having families and all of that, doing something that was life-affirming, I was caught in this spiral of death. It was my reality and my choice in some ways to stay in it. I couldn't have imagined any other way of being, given the fact that everywhere I looked here in San Francisco, my friends, my clients, my loved ones were sick and dying.

Kevin Fong:

Fast forward to here 2020, I'm seeing the same wellspring of both good and bad coming through. I think the bad is this notion of the panic that happened, fear of the unknown, the hoarding that we're seeing happening. We saw that happen back in the '80s. This notion of the othering, folks are calling it the Chinese plague. Of course, we know from back then HIV was called the gay plague at that time. I'm just wondering if there's a way in which this notion of HIV also being a place for me in my community, the gay and lesbian community in San Francisco, a time to reprioritize. Focusing on healthcare, simplicity, even spirituality. It was that moment in time and also a time where this notion as John Powell says, a time of belonging. Who really belongs with us and for us, how we care for each other, the way we're refocusing on our elders.

Kevin Fong:

Bringing those threads together in full circle was, I think, a message that I felt I needed to get out there.

Deepa Iyer:

Yeah, and you mentioned something. You said that you found your personal purpose during those years in terms of your work. I think that there are a lot of people that find their personal purpose in times of crisis. I know that for me, the aftermath of 9/11 was a turning point where things were really clarifying for me in terms of who I am, who I belong to, where I need to serve. I'm curious if you can share a little bit more about your own trajectory in that moment when you were moving through the HIV aids crisis? And what lessons can you impart for people who might be in this moment, thinking about how this might be a wake up call for them. What should they be listening to in their own lives?

Kevin Fong:

I was 21 years old, I can remember that moment like it was yesterday. Twenty-one years old, working at Macy's, on the management track and set to become some buyer of fancy clothes or something like that. I had my plan and I was young, gay, living in San Francisco, so this was the life. I was all set. And my cousin, Alistair, who is also gay, he's a few years older than me. We were going out to dinner and he said, "Oh, we're going to stop by and see Billy before we head to dinner," said, "He's not feeling well." I said, "Okay, that's great." And you got to imagine Bill Richmond, I was just so in love with this guy. He actually was a model, this thick brown hair, bright blue eyes, this killer smile. For me, being a few years younger, having a crush on Billy, to go see him was just my heart started to flutter.

Kevin Fong:

Of course, he never gave me the time of day, other than my friend's little cousin, which is fine. I just looked at him and so that's what I expected. Going to Billy's department was always this event. He'd be dressed to the nines, there'd be music playing, beautiful people always there. We went there and the lights were off, nobody was there. Alistair let himself in and we went down this darkened hallway into his bedroom, which was completely dark save for this small lamp, the single light bulb lamp. I saw Billy, who I hadn't seen in probably two or three months. It hadn't been that long. This beautiful man was completely emaciated and covered in lesions. It was my first real impact with this thing that would come to define my life for the next 12, 15 years.

Kevin Fong:

I remember walking down that hallway, knowing that my life had been completely reorganized, the whole DNA of my life going forward. I was not going to work at Macy's, I was not going to be going to dance clubs and doing all of this stuff. That's when I reset. It wasn't, Deepa, as if I had a choice, but I could have chosen to step to avoid that. But I stepped into it, I leaned into it. I never had an opportunity to actually tell Billy how he and that moment changed my life. And if I were to give advice to my children and my nieces and nephews, it's to look for those moments where the universe or the times are knocking at your chest and saying, "Let me into your heart," and for you to say, "Yes," to turn toward that and lean into it.

Kevin Fong:

It's going to be really scary and you're going to be stepping into a world that you never could have imagined. Yet what lies on the other side is tremendous opportunities for healing of yourself and of others that are amazing. I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for that moment and the times that followed, as horrible as they were. I would say it doesn't matter how old you are, this is the turning point in our lives and in the journey of this planet and of our society. The question is, what are you going to do with it?

Deepa Iyer:

Right, and I mentioned this in the introduction to you, but you went on to be the founder and director of the clinical HIV program and teen clinic at Asian Health Services, which is such an important organization in Oakland. I also just wanted to say that I really hear the continuing pain and grief that you feel, Kevin, in thinking back on those years and the people that you loved and knew and lost. That's why I think your piece was so resonant because it went to a very difficult moment in your life and I think the country as a whole, and brought some perspective to what we're dealing with right now.

Deepa Iyer:

In that vein, we've talked a little bit about I, what each of us could be doing right now, that call to action, call to purpose. I want to talk a little bit about the we and the us. When we started, you mentioned Grace Lee Boggs and this reimagining, this moment to reimagine. I think that something that I've heard people talk about so much in this moment is how this epidemic is really laying bare the inequities in our society. How a lot of the policies and practices that have been put into place really don't serve people well. As we think about how policymakers are very quickly amending and changing everything from saying no more water shutoffs, no more evictions, free access to the internet, paid sick leave, all of a sudden this seems possible. This world seems possible.

Deepa Iyer:

It's a world that so many advocates and organizers, thought leaders and visionaries like Grace Lee Boggs and others have been struggling for over decades. I'm curious to know what you make of that. How do we make some of these changes permanent realities? What does that reimagining process look like?

Kevin Fong:

What amazes me is how fast this has moved. I mean, we didn't have the technology that we have now back in the day, but what we have been working toward and envisioning and fighting for, for I would say five to seven years, has unfolded in a matter of weeks. I sit here in amazement of the speed at which some of these things that you were talking about. I just read this morning that a landlord in Milwaukee is reducing the rent of all of his tenants to $100 dollars a month. As long as this lasts, it's going to be $100 dollars. This notion of compassion at the community level, and then how that's trickling up to the policy level and what's going on in terms of everything that we're seeing happening and everything that could happen.

Kevin Fong:

I'm imagining just in a moment of days or weeks that the cancellation of student debt, releasing folks who are sitting and not been charged, this notion of holding folks who want to come to this country in cages and how that might turn out differently. The possibility, we're in this unique window of a turning point in that regard. I'm reflecting also on what we were doing in the midst of the HIV crisis and what our vision was and what actually came about. We actually changed, those of us who were doing HIV work back then, we changed the whole notion of healthcare delivery and the meaning and definition of healthcare. When you think about it beforehand, the doctor was right. You never, ever questioned a doctor before HIV came about. This notion of health advocacy, patient advocacy-

Deepa Iyer:

Patient centered advocacy.

Kevin Fong:

Patient centered, it became the norm. This notion of comprehensive forms of healthcare became the norm. I hate using this word, but this notion of the alternative practices, which seems secondary, but now insurance is covering this and doctors always ask about that, et cetera, et cetera. That became the norm. Research and development in the development of medicines and procedures, we completely turned it around. We have these community advisory boards that are part of every protocol development, no matter what you're looking at. Then this notion of how we pay for it.

Kevin Fong:

Because we were such a small group of people doing the work and everybody else was quite frankly, asleep or in denial, the rest of the world was in denial. The thing that's different from back then to now, is everybody in the world knows what this virus is. Everybody in the world is impacted in some way, shape or form, at least in the United States. We are impacted with these shelter in place and so here we are and here we're sitting on this wellspring of energy. What can we, as a group of community folk do to actually create those ripples?

Deepa Iyer:

Yeah, I think about how one of my hopes is that when this crisis ends, that we aren't going back to business as usual. I think that's why it's so important to galvanize the moment, to make it plain that this reality of access to benefits and community centered care, as you said, that trickles from the person to the policy level, is actually a future that we can live in and that we can access. I think you're right, that more people now are aware of it and so hopefully there will be those ripple effects that continue into the future.

Kevin Fong:

For us social justice activist advocates, those of us who are passionate about this, we have our movement. It might be a movement toward racial justice or a movement toward women's empowerment, or gun violence or criminal justice and reform and the environment. It's so fascinating that this pandemic is touching each and every one of those movements. I think for us, assuming that us is who's listening, here's our opportunity to weave all of that together. Climate change, as important as it is, it's so abstract to many people. It didn't well up as a huge priority that's going to impact me and my life. If I recycle, well, I'm doing my thing. This pandemic is changing the course of that, changing the conversation.

Kevin Fong:

I think that's what we can do while we're at home. Let's have those Zoom conversations, let's write each other, let's put those things out there so when we can reemerge on the other side of this, we've got a good, strong container. Not to mention, we're up against this election and so how are we going to come out on the other side in a way that's more unified, more together than not?

Deepa Iyer:

A couple of final questions. One of the things that you highlighted in your piece, which I'll be linking to in the Solidarity syllabus that accompanies this podcast, is this idea of social solidarity. As you know, this is a podcast on solidarity practice. I wanted to get your thoughts on that concept. At this point, when I think about our movements, when I think about a lot of community based organizations that we're connected to and work in, physical distancing is really completely opposite to how we do the work, right? It's in person, it's about hugging each other to express connection, it is knocking on doors, it's creating safe spaces for relationship building and trust.

Deepa Iyer:

I know that you're a coach, a facilitator, a healer, in so many ways a circle holder. Now that we are physically distancing and the work of individuals, as well as organizations have had to radically shift, how do we practice connection, spaciousness and solidarity?

Kevin Fong:

First, I want to give a shout out to Eric Klinenberg, that's where I learned this term of social solidarity from his op-ed in The New York Times. It's been really interesting continuing to do community healing circles and practices virtually. I mean, one of the primary tenants of doing this work is the [foreign language 00:19:37] of face to face and to be able to create together and touch each other and create that energy. So one of the things I've been really, really mindful of in any space that we do virtually is to always bring in ceremony. However, and whatever that looks like.

Kevin Fong:

I have a meditation that I do for every gathering, it's called rubbing hands. Takes about 30 seconds where I ask people to rub their hands together. They can do that or rub their hands on their thigh. Take about 15 seconds, then I count to three, one, two, three and then you put one hand on your heart, the other on your belly, doesn't matter which hand. Ask them to close their eyes if they're comfortable and take three deep breaths. Then we acknowledge the helpful people in our lives, folks who are taking care of our personal things. Parents, partners, kids, our homes, folks who are working with us, folks who are creating space for us, and all the service workers and the grocery clerks, and the first responders out there who are making this place better. I ask that we acknowledge each other in this space, whoever's on the call or whoever's in this space. The good and noble work that we do each and every day and what it takes to get up and out of bed to bring our gifts, to bring our passion, to bring our courage to the fore.

Kevin Fong:

The third thing I do is acknowledge ourselves or that same thing. And the fourth thing I do is ask people to acknowledge the first people of the land in which they are inhabiting and to make a promise that we are here, our work together is to only do good and to serve the good of everybody. They take a breath and when we come back and we see each other, we are connected. We are in the circle and we're smiling different, we're relaxed.

Kevin Fong:

This notion of ceremony, it might be reading a poem, it might be just taking three breaths together. I think that's really important because this technology is so head oriented, we need to be extra, extra mindful about bringing in the heart and bringing in what we call the [inaudible 00:21:42], the soul or the belly of this and get physical. Sometimes I ask people to stand if they're able and just shake out in the middle of it so we're just not so static. Those are ways in which I think we can still remain connected and intimate and solid with each other, if we bring in and we're really mindful about bringing in ceremony.

Kevin Fong:

The other thing I'm doing is eating with my friends. We'll just like, "Okay, let's have a cup of tea, Deepa," or, "Let's just share a meal," and here we are as if you're sitting across from me. I'm going to do that with my family tonight, as a matter of fact. We're going to have dinner together all virtual through Zoom.

Deepa Iyer:

That's wonderful, I really appreciate that. I think we are seeing so many groups who are able to and I want to recognize that there is this concept of digital privilege that exists for some, but not all in our communities. But I have seen these community healing and building circles. The Highlander Center is doing something called a spiritual [soiree 00:22:43] every other Wednesday for people who are interested. The National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance and [inaudible 00:22:50] is experimenting with this idea of spaciousness in terms of coming together and providing support to each other. So there are ways that folks are already using the technology, as you said, but I really appreciate this emphasis on opening and closing ceremony, giving witness to each other and how important that can be, even when we're physically distant.

Deepa Iyer:

I want to close by asking you for a few calls to action that you could share with our listeners. You've given so many already, but maybe even going back to and thinking back to that perspective that you were able to have when you were younger with the HIV aids crisis. But just something that people can take for themselves, for their organizations, or for their communities in terms of how to move through this moment right now.

Kevin Fong:

I think I have maybe four. One is this: don't let this moment pass. You, Deepa, mentioned that 9/11 and the aftermath really helped to define and clarify your path. I also feel that for a moment there was an opportunity to really change how we are in the world. Things around security and this whole notion of military influence and how we are together, acceptance and belonging around in that particular case, it was around race. It was around regionalism, it was around religion and we lost it. I think I'm turning to you, Deepa, that would be something I'd love to have you write on. Don't let this moment pass by. Also, then within that, look for those turning points like I had with Bill Richmond. Look for those turning points where you can actually turn to love, turn to belonging, turn to compassion, turn to joy.

Kevin Fong:

Related to that is I wrote a piece about a month ago, it's called Healing Communities from Within and it follows the journey of a relative of mine who had for the past 19 months, her life was completely taken over by a pretty severe form of cancer. She's completely on the other side of that now, but in that story, what I share is as the medical providers were, the nurse practitioner in this sense, was helping to have my relative heal, what she would add to this open wound was honey, medical grade honey. It's this ancient medicine that human beings throughout culture and time and geography have used for thousands of years. Here we are at one of the finest medical institutions in the world, and she's squirting honey in my relative's body.

Kevin Fong:

I took that to translate that to we're in 2020, and even before this virus, anxiety was high. We started the year with an impeachment, on the verge of a world war, all of this. Now we're moving towards this election and we've got this and it doesn't matter who gets elected. It doesn't matter when we come out on the other side of this, anxiety is still going to be high. One of the best anecdotes to that anxiety is adding honey. Think about the sweetness, the joy, to sing and to dance and to cook. To understand that within this, you could live in the fear and the wound and stay in the panic, but that's going to wreak a lot of havoc on your body. I would not have survived the epidemic, even though I was HIV negative, I wouldn't have survived if I didn't take a moment to sing, to dance, to celebrate right through those years, to do that.

Kevin Fong:

The last thing I would say is sharing two Hawaiian concepts. The first is kuleana, K-U-L-E-A-N-A and it means your duty or your responsibility. But at a deeper level, it means your gift, and what my [inaudible 00:26:49] would say, "That what you were born to become." For me, in that moment, that turning point that I had at 21, I was always told, "Kevin, you're going to become something much greater than just doing what you're going to do." I was led to believe that, but I was also on a path of just getting a job. Nothing wrong with that, but just living my life. There are moments if you know what your gift is, what your unique contribution is, where those turning points will make more sense. I would ask everybody to just in this time of quiet for most of us to think about it. What is my gift? What am I born to become? What is my purpose and what am I doing now, or how does my current lifestyle help to feed and nurture and support that? If not, what type of changes can I make?

Kevin Fong:

And the last one is pono, P-O-N-O, which means to be in right relationship with yourself and with others. This is time, what time it is on the clock of this world, calls us to actually ask ourselves, are we pono? We're slowing down enough where we can have a conversation. We're slowing down enough where we can actually think on ourselves or do some reflection, writing, reading to understand and make sure that we are on a good path that's in alignment. That it's in pono with our values and the world we want to create. After that comes the re-imagining. Once you have your kuleana and your pono, then you can actually say, "Okay, I'm good, I'm strong, I'm in my power. Now let's reimagine," and then we can get to work.

Deepa Iyer:

That's powerful and also simple at the same time, thank you. Kuleana and pono, I'm really grateful to you for bringing in those concepts as well to our conversation. Thank you so much, Kevin. This has been an amazing, amazing time to connect with you in this moment. We've known each other for a while and it is this that brought us back together. I'm really grateful for that and I'm grateful to you. I want you to tell us how can folks find you? Where can they find you on the inter-webs and how can they connect with you?

Kevin Fong:

Okay, you all, I'm old and so I use Facebook. You can find me at Kevin John Fong, you can just look me up, J-O-H-N. I also run a Facebook site and I think I'll start one up on Instagram and it's called Love and Revolution. It's dedicated to my friend, Grace Lee Boggs and it's all about everything that I find that's really lovely and wonderful about how ordinary people can make a difference is there. I post daily, couple times a day, so subscribe to that. You can also find me on Instagram, Kevin John Fong and I think I'm going to put a Love and Revolution Instagram account on. Not on Twitter, I'll ask my kids about it. I'll ask my kids and figure out what to do about that yet. Otherwise, if folks are wanting to receive my every other week blog post, just let me know. Just find me on Facebook or Instagram and I'll put you on and we'll take it from there.

Kevin Fong:

It's just been an honor, a pleasure, Deepa. Thank you.

Deepa Iyer:

Yes, and I also wanted to say you're a coach, you're a circle holder, you're a community healer and a writer. So there are many ways in which Kevin actually works with so many of our communities and our community activists, that I really want to lift that up and I'm grateful to you for that. Thank you so much for being here with me and on Solidarity Is This.

Kevin Fong:

Thank you, honor and a pleasure.

Deepa Iyer:

I want to thank Kevin for joining me in this episode of Solidarity Is This. I hope that you learned as much as I did and I hope that you feel a measure of courage and support, added perspective and even inspiration in this really challenging moment that we are all in.

Deepa Iyer:

I'll be adding links and information into the Solidarity syllabus that accompanies this podcast, so please go to www.solidarityis.org, or find me on Twitter, @D-V-I-Y-E-R to follow and learn more. I'll also be including an updated version of the ecosystem document and graphic that I released last year, that I hope will resonate and relate to many of you, as well as each of us thinks about our role in this moment and who is part of our own ecosystem.

Deepa Iyer:

With that, thank you, be well and I will talk to you on the next episode of Solidarity Is This.